


The Billboard

by Huntress69



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2018-01-18 02:54:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1412296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress69/pseuds/Huntress69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve declares himself like he promised, but things get a little screwed up. Danny introduces Steve to the #Five0 Twitter hashtag.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Billboard

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Thank you again to [**Simplyn2deep**](http://archiveofourown.org/users/simplyn2deep) for the beta work.  
>  2\. A pseudo-sequel to [**Welcome To Monday**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1393078); you don't need to have read the first fic to get this one.  
>  3\. Fic contains a tiny Doctor Who reference, gratuitous use of Twitter hashtags and other mentions of social media.  
> 4\. Spoiler 3x21

Disclaimer: I'll eat all my vegetables, clean my room, and take out the trash if Santa will bring me Steve and Danny

**++++++++++**

** Friday Night **

Steve and Danny were exhausted from three straight days of tracking a kidnapper. They picked up Grace, ate, showered, watched TV, and the two men said goodnight to Grace and went up to bed at 10:15.

Danny fell onto the bed. "I don't want you to think my love has waned after four days of declaring myself, but I have no strength for anything."

Steve slid in next to him. "Thank God for small favors," he laughed, sharing a few kisses with Danny before he turned off the bedside lamp. "Danny, remember what I said about the billboard?"

"Sure Steve." Danny mumbled. "You said you'd prove your love by putting something on a billboard," he yawned, "and announcing it on Savannah's show." He was almost asleep. "Go for it."

'I will, Danno,' Steve thought as he pulled Danny into his arms, 'a nice big billboard right along the highway.'

**~~~~~~~~**

** Saturday Morning **

"Why me, boss?" Kono shot Steve a questioning look as she looked over some photos. "And where are Danny and Grace?"

"They went to the mall." Steve continued to flip the pages of the photo album. "This is tough."

"How come you didn't go with them?" Kono was curious. 

"Danny said he didn't want to subject weekend shoppers to me." Steve stared at one photo before shaking his head. "He's afraid I'll cause a major international incident and bring about the apocalypse - and those were his words." He looked at another picture. "Kono, I trust that you won't let me make a fool out of myself."

"What is this billboard going to say?" She picked up another album. "If I knew maybe it would help choosing easier."

"It's a secret."

"You wouldn't embarrass him, would you, Steve?"

"Of course not!" Steve snapped at her. "I'm sorry, but how could you even think that?"

"No, of course you wouldn't," Kono agreed, "and you said you wanted casual?"

Steve nodded and the two continued to look for a nice photo.

A few minutes later Kono's phone rang and she answered it, said, "Yes ma'am," a few times and when she was done she smiled at Steve. "My grandmother says I have to help chaperone eight of my cousins to a movie."

"Then run, Kono; that woman will kick your ass." Steve smiled. "Even I fear her."

"And Steve, whichever one you pick I'm sure it will be nice." 

Kono left and five minutes later Mary Ann entered with Joan. 

"I'm broke until next week," Steve said the moment she walked in.

"I don't need money," Mary Ann told him, "but the washing machines in my new building are horrible so I came to use yours." She took Joan out of the carrier. "Our stuff is in the trunk."

"I wish I was an only child," Steve groused as he went out to her car.

"Don't you listen to him, Joan," Mary Ann cooed, "he loves us both very much." She noticed the photo albums strewn about and when Steve came in she asked him about them.

"I told Danno I would announce it on a billboard." Steve didn't even realize he had used the beloved nickname. "Maybe he'll marry me after he sees it." He grinned. "I have to find a nice photo to go with the words." He had picked out a nice picture of himself in his dress blues. "There, this is it." Steve's phone rang at that moment and he reluctantly answered, mouthing, 'Denning' to his sister. He listened, nodded, said, "I will," and hung up. "I know it's Saturday, but work calls." A small smile for his sister. "Would you mind running it over? I'll give you the address."

"No problem, Steve. And...."

Before she could finish Steve kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks, Mary."

Once he left Mary Ann rubbed noses with her daughter. "We're going again." She reached over to the table but Joan let out a shriek and she knocked a pile of photos to the floor. "Judging from your face I'd have to say you took a dump." She proceeded to change Joan's diaper. "We're going to work on potty training soon." Once Mary was done she put her daughter back in the car seat and grabbed a photo from the table without looking. 

Forty minutes later Mary Ann arrived at the billboard company and the only problem was that Steve had not told them what he wanted written on it. She tried to call him but his phone was off so she assumed he was in his meeting. Being that the company needed an answer, Mary Ann thought about what her brother had said about "announcing it" and how "Danno might marry him," and totally figured out what he meant, advising the company.

Unfortunately Mary Ann not only gave them the wrong photo, she also gave them the wrong message.

**~~~~~~~~**

** Sunday Morning **

Steve woke up early, allowing Danny to sleep, drove Grace over to Lucy's, and then picked up Kono. He drove towards the billboard and glanced over at her. "So, what do you think? That'll convince Danny I love him, right?"

"I think so," Kono nodded, "and he's going to kill you."

"Why would he kill me?"

"No," she agreed, "he won't kill you. Break your kneecaps, dislocate both shoulders, slice off your...manhood...and remove your ink with sulfuric acid maybe, but kill - no."

"For putting 'I love you, Danny' on a billboard? Or is the photo of me in my dress blues too stiff?" Steve shrugged. "Maybe I should have gone for casual."

"Uh, Steve, it was supposed to say 'I love you, Danny' with a photo of you in dress blues?"

"Simple and straight forward, and what do you mean supposed?" Steve smiled, looked out the window, swerved to the side of the road and slammed on the brakes; he then opened the door and nearly fell out.

Kono was just thankful there were no vehicles near them at that moment.

"Oh God." Steve braced himself against the truck and looked like he was going to cry. "I am so dead." He peered inside and met Kono's eyes, opened his mouth, but his vocal cords were unable to function; all he could do was point up at the billboard.

 

 

"It wasn't supposed to be this," he insisted, folding his arms and burying his head.

Kono got out and patted his back. "It'll be all right."

Steve lifted his head. "I'll call the company and have them take it down." He nodded quickly. "Danny will never find out."

"Oh shit," Kono muttered, looking over his shoulder.

"What?" Steve turned around and saw the familiar shape of the Camaro approaching. "I gotta get out of here." He jumped into the cab of the truck and started the engine, waving Kono in, but the car pulled up in front of the Silverado.

Danny got out of the car and walked over to the driver's side. He knocked on the closed window but it didn't roll down. "Don't think I don't see you hiding there," he growled, seeing Kono appear on the other side of the truck. "Did you have something to do with this?"

"Not this time, Danny." Kono swallowed hard. "Can I go now? I'll just walk the rest of the way." She half-laughed. "I can jog." 

"You won't need to." This time Danny banged on the door. "Get out, Steven." Once Steve had done that, Danny told Kono, "I'll get him home."

Kono came around to the driver's side and punched Steve in the arm. "You were the best boss I ever had." Before she drove off she rolled down the window. "I would stay," she shot Steve a mischievous look, "but you're a rough and tough Navy SEAL who can bend steel in his bare hands," Kono's lips were twitching as she bit back a giggle fit, "whilst I am but a poor member of the fairer sex." She let out a theatrical sigh, batted her eyes at him, smirked at Danny (and blew him a kiss) and floored it.

'She's going to destroy my new tires,' Steve thought.

"Oh, McGarrett," Danny sneered, "you have a lot more to worry about then your tires."

For what was perhaps the first time in his life Steve whimpered; he hadn't meant to say that out loud. Judging by Danny's tone and body language Steve was in a shitload of genuine trouble this time; his survival training kicked in and he backed away.

"You're not going anywhere." Danny gritted his teeth. "I have the keys."

Steve leaned against the trunk. "I'm just getting out of your reach." 

Danny shook his head and opened his mouth a few times; he was clearly looking for the correct words. 

"I love you, Danny," Steve said, eyes moving to the billboard. 

"I know you do, Steve, but...."

"No," Steve took a breath, "that's what the billboard was supposed to say - 'I Love You, Danny' - with a photo of me in my dress blues."

"Huh?" 

"It's the truth." Steve was looking everywhere **but** at Danny. "I just wanted to keep my promise of no take-backs."

Danny moved to stand next to Steve. "I'm sorry for even thinking that you would have done this on purpose." 

"Apology acknowledged," Steve smirked, "acceptance is...." His words were muffled by Danny kissing him. 

Danny then nodded to the billboard. "Are you going to have it taken down?"

"Shit!" Steve took out his phone. "I was about to arrange that when you got here." He called the company and explained, said, "Yes," a few times and hung up. "They'll have it down by six; they can't do it sooner."

"By then all of O'ahu will have seen it." Danny thought for a moment. "Were you also planning to go on Savannah's show to announce it?"

"It had crossed my mind," Steve cupped Danny's chin and lifted his face, "but I think I did enough." 

"How exactly did this happen?" Danny stared at the billboard. "And you do look very...nice...in that photo."

Steve put his palm up and called Mary Ann, and after she was done explaining even Danny heard her begging for forgiveness on the other end.

"Tell her she's forgiven," Danny said loud enough for Mary Ann to hear. He then softly added for Steve alone, "She didn't do it on purpose and she doesn't need added stress. Single mother, remember?"

Steve agreed, and reassured his sister that they still loved her before saying good-bye.

A moment later Danny's phone vibrated and he saw Grace's photo pop up. "Hi, Grace." Danny listened for a moment and glared at Steve. "Somebody already tweeted a photo of the billboard with the hashtags **_#Five0 #McGarrett #Williams_** , and...what was the last one, monkey?" He paused and faced Steve again. "The last was **_#DontAskDontTellButHeDid_**." Danny heard Grace talking again. "And the top trending topic in Hawaii is now **_#McDanno_**."

"Big Mac's are popular," Steve said. "I may not eat them but lots of people do."

"No, not McDonalds; McDanno."

"What's a McDanno?"

"McGarrett," Danny pointed at him, "and Danno," he pointed to himself, "equals McDanno." He heard Grace and returned to her. "We'll be there soon Grace." Pause. "I...uh...can you repeat that?" His lips twitched as he bit back a laugh. "I will and we love you, too." Danny then pulled up his Twitter feed. 

"How come I can't use Twitter? Or that online place that Grace uses to post pictures?" Steve looked over Danny's shoulder. "You helped me make a Facebook."

"Forget about Instagram and don't ever mention Facebook." Danny shuddered. "Children, Steven, children were allowed by their parents to be a friend to the Commander of Hawai'i's premiere task force. They thought it was safe, you being a decorated Naval officer and all. And what do you do?"

"You told me I should update my status." Steve shrugged. "I only did what you said."

"You only did...fuck, Steve, the first time you listen to me and you tell the world - yes, the world, Steven, because your account wasn't private -" Danny paused, poking him in the shoulder. "You know what, never mind; I just want to forget those four days of you using social media. I'm thankful we did quick damage control and convinced everyone your account was hacked." He sighed. "I'm also thankful Chin caught you **before** you posted that video showing how to gut a wild boar." 

"That video was made during survival training 12 years ago; it's not like I made it last month." Steve was unconcerned. "Wade said it was okay if I used it to show people what SEALs are trained for."

"It doesn't matter." Rubbing his hands over his face Danny muttered, "PETA would have gutted **you**."

"Who's Peta?" Steve asked. "Is she the woman on Lou's team? Because Danno, she's kind of scary and reminds me of Madame Kovarian - without the eye patch."

"I am now more then ever convinced that you got hit in the head a lot while you were on active duty." Danny stated that as fact. "And yes, I agree about her looks, but no, her name is Evelyn." 

"What are you looking up?" Steve grabbed the phone.

"Give me that." Danny took it back. "I'm just checking the **_#Five0_** hashtag."

"What is a hashtag anyway?"

"When people want to make a subject popular they put a 'pound sign' in front of whatever to get noticed; others use the same one and interest grows." He began to chuckle. "They add **_#Five0_** with random comments. Apparently the billboard photo has been..." Danny looked closer at his phone, "...it's already been retweeted 3,276 times and favorited even more."

"What else is tweeted with this hashthing?" Steve asked. "What do they say about Five-0?"

"In regards to the billboard...." Danny scrolled down the **_#Five0_** hashtag, reading the tweets. **_"#IfDannoWontMarryHimIWill_** \- this was retweeted 2,917 times; **_#BeautifulAbs #SexyAbs #Yummy..."_** Danny paused, staring at the word, **_"...#YummyliciousAbs #ILoveMcGarrettsAbs PS Biceps too_**." The next one. **_"How about a shot of the ink close up?"_** "Oy." **_"Dear Steve of #Five0 can we get you naked on a billboard too? Or maybe a bare ass shot?_**. "Wonderful," Danny muttered. **_"Hey there Mr McGarrett I'll give up a kidney to lick...."_** He stopped mid-tweet, said, "Aw c'mon, this is...." and shook his head, going to another tweet. **_"Does anybody else like the short blond haole #Five0? He's got some kickass biceps."_** Danny groaned as he scrolled down the hashtag. 

"You do you know," Steve squeezed Danny's arm, "have very nice biceps." He tried to take the phone to read. "What else does it say, Danno?"

Danny turned red as a tomato. "Somebody responded with **_#Williams of #Five0 is a nice piece of ass too. I'd like to spank it."_** Danny was clearly stunned. "They're nuts." His eyes were wide as he stared at the screen. **_"I so want to be the condiment in a #McDanno sandwich."_** Danny began to grind his teeth. **_"#McGarrettIsATop_** and somebody replied, **_Doubt it; #military love to bottom. Trust me. And bet he sucks...."_** He stopped reading again. "I have a feeling Grace and I will be talking about a few things later on."

"Why?"

"Because this particular thread has veered into NSFW territory."

"What's that acronym mean?"

"You in a nutshell." Danny came off that thread. "They also tweet things like...here - **_#KonoKalakauaIsKool_** and **_Does the #Five0 guy on the motorcycle have a GF?_** \- to which someone replied, **_His name is #ChinHoKelly, you asshole!"_** Danny snickered. **_"Saw #DannyWilliams #Five0 surfing; fills out his bathing suit rather nicely"_**. He looked rather smug. **_"I miss the grey #Camaro_** \- yes, Steve, they pay attention to us - **_Why do #Five0 drive Chevys? Whats wrong with Toyotas?"_** He rolled his eyes. "Somebody named **_@OCaan_** claims he knew we were together after Savannah's show aired; quite a few agree. And what the hell is a 'cargument'?"

"How should I know?" Steve took the phone. **_"Eat at #Kamekonas #ShrimpShack; #Five0 does so you should too._** and there's a photo of all of us at a table. I would assume **_@BigKahuna275_** is Kamekona." He went down to the next tweet. **_"#Five0 are BAMFs!_** What's a BAMF, Danno?"

"I'm not sure." Danny thought for a moment. "We can ask Grace; she would know."

Steve went to the next tweet. **_"Whatever happened to the blonde chick of #Five0? She was a nice piece of...."_** Steve stopped reading. "I guess they're referring to Lori." He grinned when he read the next one. 

"Steve, what is it?"

"Somebody has a photo of the billboard and they used the pound sign with the words **_#Five0 #McGarrett #PantyDestroyer,"_** Steve was laughing, **_"#HottieHotHot #Sigh #Drool #Pant #Swoon #Slobber #WilliamsIsALuckyBastard"_**.

"Let me see." Danny took his phone back and read the tweet; he also saw the tweeter - **_@SurferGurl007_** \- and decided he was switching Kono to decaf. "By the way, about the proposal?" He waited until Steve opened his mouth to finish. "Grace said yes for the two of us; we have decided to marry you."

Steve grabbed Danny's phone again and texted something. 

"What are you doing, Steve?"

"I'm a fast learner." He showed Danny the phone. 

**_Sorry, but #McGarrett of #Five0 is not available. #Danno said yes._ **

They shared another kiss right there as cars passed them by and then got into the Camaro. Danny's phone vibrated and he glanced at it. "Damn people are quick." It was a photo of them kissing under the billboard with the hashtags **_#Five0 #McDanno #LipLock #Romantic_**. 

The first retweet/favorite for the picture added the hashtag **_#HeFinallyBaggedTheBabe_**. 

It was posted by **_@JerzyMom1957_**.

Danny just smiled. 

**FIN**

**Author's Note:**

> I'll leave it to your imagination as to what Steve posted on Facebook.


End file.
